I sort of forgot this was here. Makes sense, I suppose. It's been a bit over a year since I last did any kind of journaling or writing about myself.

Things went very well in my life for a while there.

My husband came home from 12 weeks of treatment last June. He actually came home on our wedding anniversary.

Things were sort of awkward at first...getting used to each other.

Then things were fantastic, for about 6 1/2 months.

Now he's gone back to drinking 4-5 days a week. Only during the work week, and only when he gets home.

In spite of having no drivers license, he is able to walk across the street to the gas station/convenience store that now has a liquor license.

So it's back to a bottle of vodka, although for a while it was a couple of cans of 4 loko.

I'm trying to figure out what to do in all of this mess.

I had decided that if he continued with the drinking that I would move down to the beach for the summer. All I had to do was wait until my youngest child had graduated from HS and then gone to his university orientation.

That was last week.

Then my Mom hits me with the fact that she needs to have surgery on her right hand. And she's right handed. So she'll need me to help her with things for a while.

Effectively trapping me here for another 4-6 weeks.

I'm heading out the door to meet with our marriage counselor this morning.

I've already spoken with an attorney about legal separation and/or divorce proceedings.

Natually, I find that I don't want a divorce.

I am a fucking idiot.

back again, no real improvement - 2011-06-02
growing - 2010-05-08
does sharing really mean caring - 2010-04-20
don't want to think about it now - 2010-04-13
trying to figure it out - 2010-04-12