*sighs*

went to the store today and looked through the cards to find something to send him. i just couldn't bring myself to send any that spoke about 'love' or 'being there'...and i almost started crying, right in the card aisle of kroger...so i bought a small can of chocolate frosting. it's still unopened. sitting in the pantry. i think i can make it through tonight without touching it.

i guess i've been depressed? at least today i woke up with no tinnitus and no migraine.

it did rain today and that cleared the pollen off the porch.

it makes me want to rake up the old leaves, pull weeds and plant some flowers...and i'm not a 'yard work' kind of person, but our house looks like crap from the front.

i just don't want to be outside and see our neighbors. or have them see me. which is probably ridiculous.

i haven't been returning phone calls, except to my mom, who would just drive over and break the door down if i didn't return her calls.

i managed to not go to starbucks today. that's $5 saved. still, i need to sit down and pay bills and send the tax returns into the i.r.s.

well, he sounds okay. so far no manipulations on his part, as far as i can tell.

he says they've been discussing spirituality a lot this week. he's not the most spiritual person, so i'm hoping he can keep an open heart and an open mind.

he's been reading my FB page, via his iPhone. guess i need to be more careful and generic. not that i'm posting anything that would fire him up. at least nothing that would fire up a person who thinks clearly. still..better be safe.

he said they are sending a packet to me. i am supposed to write a letter to him, outlining the effects his drinking has had on our marriage, family, me, etc. when he gets it, he is supposed to read it aloud, in group.

um...potential time bomb, but i promised myself that i would not pull punches this time. he needs the honesty and it will either make or break us.

back again, no real improvement - 2011-06-02
growing - 2010-05-08
does sharing really mean caring - 2010-04-20
don't want to think about it now - 2010-04-13
trying to figure it out - 2010-04-12