"leave me alone I'm lonely
alone I'm lonely
i'm tired
leave me alone I'm lonely
alone I'm lonely tonight "
~ p!nk

after dealing with this for the past 5 nights, i just don't have the energy to deal with it today. his drinking will kill my soul before it does any damage to his liver.

i wish it were monday, so that he would be at the office and not home, here with me. i'd leave to do something, anything, but then he'd want to tag along. he just doesn't seem to want to understand that he needs to leave me alone.

i wish i could just say:

no, i don't want to go to the movies today. no, i don't want to go out to dinner tonight. no, i don't want to run errands with you. i just want you to leave me the fuck alone and let me lick my wounds, so that i can pick myself up and brace myself for more days of you being drunk.

when is he going to finally decide it's time to go back to rehab? when i finally lose my fucking mind?

back again, no real improvement - 2011-06-02
growing - 2010-05-08
does sharing really mean caring - 2010-04-20
don't want to think about it now - 2010-04-13
trying to figure it out - 2010-04-12